I am conscious enough that I'm about to enter a new phase of life and trust me, it ain't easy at all. Finding out who you really are and what you ever really want in life.
Went back home again
This sucks gotta pack up and leave again
Say goodbye to all my friends
Can't say when I'll be there again
It's time now to turn around
Turn my back on everything
Turn my back on everything...
Everything's changing when I turn around
All out of my control, I'm a mobile
Everything's changing when I turn around
All out of my control, I'm a mobile
Start back at this life
Stretch myself back into the vibe
I'm waking up to say I've tried
Instead of waking up to another T.V. Guide
It's time now to turn around
Turn and walk on this crazy ground
Everything's changing when I turn around
All out of my control, I'm a mobile
Everything's changing
Out of what I know
Everywhere I go, I'm a mobile
Hanging from the ceiling
Life's a mobile
Spinning 'round with mixed feelings
Crazy and wild
Sometimes I wanna scream out loud...
Everything's changing
Everywhere I go
Out of what I know...
(Mobile - Avril Lavigne)
Saturday, November 7, 2009
intergalactic night (blue) (sky)
Last Friday, I put on my Rockers NYC tee(I don't really know about the label to be honest ,but it is the kind that's sold at 7o7. It's a tee for guys actually).
I bought it because I fell in love with the Indian man! :D
Other than the tee, I also had my Halloween Dunk. Ils me souviaent de temps de high school!!
Anyways, the Indian man is one of my best friends (???)
I bought it because I fell in love with the Indian man! :D
Other than the tee, I also had my Halloween Dunk. Ils me souviaent de temps de high school!!
Anyways, the Indian man is one of my best friends (???)
how can i know what you want when you never ask?
I've got this desire to be with you since so long
I've captured you in my daydream, nightdream for so many uncountable times
Baby, when you glance at me with that signature look
Next thing I know it's your smile I can not resist
When all my girls talk about their boys
I just smile to myself to remember you
I've been through enough to decide
I'm gonna keep you as my sweetest secret
I don't know what love is yet
All I know is you're so enchanting
With you I never go down
It's even better cos the world don't know
Baby I get so jealous when you're near your lady
But what can I do, there's nothing I can't do
Then you turn my world upside down again
When you wrap me in your arms
They wanna call me bad, call me naughty
It really is their business, not mine
Cos I know you're my sweetest secret
A secret I will never tell
I got so frustrated, I wanted to drive you crazy
And baby don't you know how heaven it is when you tell me
I am the best among all other girls
It feels like a dream comes true
I never thought it would be true, oh baby
So hold me tight, kiss me now and never ever let me go
I've captured you in my daydream, nightdream for so many uncountable times
Baby, when you glance at me with that signature look
Next thing I know it's your smile I can not resist
When all my girls talk about their boys
I just smile to myself to remember you
I've been through enough to decide
I'm gonna keep you as my sweetest secret
I don't know what love is yet
All I know is you're so enchanting
With you I never go down
It's even better cos the world don't know
Baby I get so jealous when you're near your lady
But what can I do, there's nothing I can't do
Then you turn my world upside down again
When you wrap me in your arms
They wanna call me bad, call me naughty
It really is their business, not mine
Cos I know you're my sweetest secret
A secret I will never tell
I got so frustrated, I wanted to drive you crazy
And baby don't you know how heaven it is when you tell me
I am the best among all other girls
It feels like a dream comes true
I never thought it would be true, oh baby
So hold me tight, kiss me now and never ever let me go
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
mi reflejo
As right now I'm sitting down and looking to this screen, I've got lots going on in my head and I'm actually feeling a lot of pressure. Anyhow, I decided to write a little "interview" about myself. I just feel like I need to do that for a reflection. So yeah, here I go.
Straight A
Straight A
I've been blessed with a brain that could capture lessons just well and I'm always thankful for that. I'm not the smartest ass and I'm not the kind to have the As without efforts, no. I've got to put efforts and be dilligent to achieve the good grades. I finished school with pretty nice record and now I'm studying at the best university in Indonesia (they said so). The last semester, my grades weren't so good (unlike my debut) and right now I'm struggling to maintain the grades so I could fulfill my goal to achieve cum laude.
By targeting so high, I do fear the effects if I ever failed. But I refuse to think of the worst right now. All I can do now is do my best and stay focus. Academic is one of my sphere of capabilities so I shall make the best of it.
Family
I've always known my family is not perfect. I had not been through a normal family life like most people did. But I don't bother about it, the fact is I love them and I shall not regret anything.
The truth is, I guess I'm a person who is nothing without my family. I have been very lucky to go through the best of life because of them and I realize not many people get this chance. I am very thankful for this. We're not the greatest, but we're good. As Paris Hilton once said, born in the right family.
The only problem I still haven't found a solution to is arguments with my mom. There are times when I feel like loving her, while other times I feel like she's the one I least like on earth.
Can't Buy Me Love
I've been single for 4 years! And I enjoy it haha.
Yes, there are times when I feel like I'm alone and be skeptical - will I ever be good enough to be a partner? - but overall, I'm living the best out of it. I've got so many to do and I can't imagine to do all those stuffs if I ever have something to commit to.
Like Stacie Orrico's lyric, I've been through just about everything I could go through when it comes to relationship, and now I just wanna make sure I dont wanna repeat the same mistake. I am still young and I believe there's still a long way to go before I find my very last harbor, so there's a possibility I make some other mistakes.
I've been broken so worst and I just refuse to be that pathetic girl ever again, so right now I'm just more relaxed yet surrender. Yes, of course I'm seeing someone right now, or someones, but I still don't have any idea about anything further.
Body Control
This might be the most sensitive topic to me these days. I'm a girl who is very conscious about what to put on my body and so it relates to the body image itself.
I remember putting on skinny jeans a few months ago and I hated the way it looked on me - it wasn't skinny at all. Since I was 11 or 12, I've always been known I have tall figure, but I started gaining weights during my puberty.
I've been on diets, exercises, anything... to maintain the body I want. I have the body that people say just fine now, but to be honest, I don't think I'm good enough yet. I'm a 2, weight about 48 kilos, the BMI calculator indicates that I'm underweight but I'm still not satisfied.
I'm not saying this is fine, no, I ain't being naive in here. Well, I've just read about Victoria Beckham and I'd like to quote a line form her "there's a difference between having eating disorder and maintaining your body"
I've said goodbye to my favorite jeans (my favorite Miss Sixty pairs, Diesel pairs, J brand...) because they're all too big for me now and if I insist on wearing, it just looks tacky.
Being Grown-Up Isn't Half As Fun As Growing Up
I know very well that I'm not bearing the maturity I once was in high school anymore. I've been through a few phases and as much as I hate this, I've grown up. I've started to face the real world, the cruelty... anything that I didn't know it even exist. This is something I have to pass in life, I haven't reached my final phase so I'll just keep moving.
I'm conscious enough I have a mind that is pretty complex yet simple. I don't see things just like they seem to me, I connect them to a lot of aspects. I believe I'm a pretty shy person inside and sometimes I love to play a character. Maybe this is the wayfor me to find out who I am.
Something that I know by now, people don't lie when they say high school is the sweetest moment. All I can do now, I wanna make the rest of my life as sweet as high school. A few people has been telling me I'm the type to have a bright future and that's exactly what I'm heading to. I've just got to.
By targeting so high, I do fear the effects if I ever failed. But I refuse to think of the worst right now. All I can do now is do my best and stay focus. Academic is one of my sphere of capabilities so I shall make the best of it.
Family
I've always known my family is not perfect. I had not been through a normal family life like most people did. But I don't bother about it, the fact is I love them and I shall not regret anything.
The truth is, I guess I'm a person who is nothing without my family. I have been very lucky to go through the best of life because of them and I realize not many people get this chance. I am very thankful for this. We're not the greatest, but we're good. As Paris Hilton once said, born in the right family.
The only problem I still haven't found a solution to is arguments with my mom. There are times when I feel like loving her, while other times I feel like she's the one I least like on earth.
Can't Buy Me Love
I've been single for 4 years! And I enjoy it haha.
Yes, there are times when I feel like I'm alone and be skeptical - will I ever be good enough to be a partner? - but overall, I'm living the best out of it. I've got so many to do and I can't imagine to do all those stuffs if I ever have something to commit to.
Like Stacie Orrico's lyric, I've been through just about everything I could go through when it comes to relationship, and now I just wanna make sure I dont wanna repeat the same mistake. I am still young and I believe there's still a long way to go before I find my very last harbor, so there's a possibility I make some other mistakes.
I've been broken so worst and I just refuse to be that pathetic girl ever again, so right now I'm just more relaxed yet surrender. Yes, of course I'm seeing someone right now, or someones, but I still don't have any idea about anything further.
Body Control
This might be the most sensitive topic to me these days. I'm a girl who is very conscious about what to put on my body and so it relates to the body image itself.
I remember putting on skinny jeans a few months ago and I hated the way it looked on me - it wasn't skinny at all. Since I was 11 or 12, I've always been known I have tall figure, but I started gaining weights during my puberty.
I've been on diets, exercises, anything... to maintain the body I want. I have the body that people say just fine now, but to be honest, I don't think I'm good enough yet. I'm a 2, weight about 48 kilos, the BMI calculator indicates that I'm underweight but I'm still not satisfied.
I'm not saying this is fine, no, I ain't being naive in here. Well, I've just read about Victoria Beckham and I'd like to quote a line form her "there's a difference between having eating disorder and maintaining your body"
I've said goodbye to my favorite jeans (my favorite Miss Sixty pairs, Diesel pairs, J brand...) because they're all too big for me now and if I insist on wearing, it just looks tacky.
Being Grown-Up Isn't Half As Fun As Growing Up
I know very well that I'm not bearing the maturity I once was in high school anymore. I've been through a few phases and as much as I hate this, I've grown up. I've started to face the real world, the cruelty... anything that I didn't know it even exist. This is something I have to pass in life, I haven't reached my final phase so I'll just keep moving.
I'm conscious enough I have a mind that is pretty complex yet simple. I don't see things just like they seem to me, I connect them to a lot of aspects. I believe I'm a pretty shy person inside and sometimes I love to play a character. Maybe this is the wayfor me to find out who I am.
Something that I know by now, people don't lie when they say high school is the sweetest moment. All I can do now, I wanna make the rest of my life as sweet as high school. A few people has been telling me I'm the type to have a bright future and that's exactly what I'm heading to. I've just got to.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
wee hour romance
I heard a song about the kind of thing that we are in
Baby I've got a tough day and all I want is just to spend the rest alone
You're never around that much
And you're not the one that's coming to my mind every night
Then what can I say when tonight turns out to be our reunion again...
No, no, no, I don't think that it is love that we're in
But what can I say, baby, with you I feel so calm I feel so peaceful
And when I fall asleep tonight, it's you I wish to see in the morning
I can't try any harder, neither can you
This is the kind of thing that makes you smile to yourself
That you don't tell anybody else
Sometimes I think we don't need words
The eyes tell enough the secret we share
Baby, hell becomes heaven right now
So I imagine being with you for the rest of my life
I laugh myself for that, yes I do
Because I'm not actually allowed to do that
So what do I know about what you think when you smirk to me?
When you wink your eyes and whisper a few words?
Oh, oh, love... I feel I wanna smile all night
Baby I've got a tough day and all I want is just to spend the rest alone
You're never around that much
And you're not the one that's coming to my mind every night
Then what can I say when tonight turns out to be our reunion again...
No, no, no, I don't think that it is love that we're in
But what can I say, baby, with you I feel so calm I feel so peaceful
And when I fall asleep tonight, it's you I wish to see in the morning
I can't try any harder, neither can you
This is the kind of thing that makes you smile to yourself
That you don't tell anybody else
Sometimes I think we don't need words
The eyes tell enough the secret we share
Baby, hell becomes heaven right now
So I imagine being with you for the rest of my life
I laugh myself for that, yes I do
Because I'm not actually allowed to do that
So what do I know about what you think when you smirk to me?
When you wink your eyes and whisper a few words?
Oh, oh, love... I feel I wanna smile all night
Saturday, October 31, 2009
whatever happens to that sweetest thing
J'attendais le 26 octobre. Mais la date est devenue un horreur pour moi. Tu m'a dit que tu va retourner, oui tu est ici... mais ce n'est plus le meme :(
Take it back, take it all back now
The things I gave
Like the taste of my kiss on your lips
I miss that now
I can’t try any harder than I do
All the reasons I gave
Excuses I made for you
I’m broken in two
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you
Don’t walk away
Touch me now how I wanna feel something so real
Please remind me my love
And take me back
Cause I’m so in love with what we were
I’m not breathing I’m suffocating without you
Do you feel it too?
When I’m in the dark and all alone
Dreaming that you’ll walk right through my door
It’s there I know my heart is whole
There's a millions reasons why I cry
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes
Cause I don’t wanna be alone
Cause I can't fake and I can't hate but it's my heart that’s about to break
You’re all I need I’m on my knees watch me bleed won't you listen please,
I give in I breathe out I want you there’s no doubt I freak out
I’m left out without you I’m without I cross out I can't doubt
I cry out I reach out
Don’t walk away...
(Undiscovered - Ashlee Simpson)
Take it back, take it all back now
The things I gave
Like the taste of my kiss on your lips
I miss that now
I can’t try any harder than I do
All the reasons I gave
Excuses I made for you
I’m broken in two
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you
Don’t walk away
Touch me now how I wanna feel something so real
Please remind me my love
And take me back
Cause I’m so in love with what we were
I’m not breathing I’m suffocating without you
Do you feel it too?
When I’m in the dark and all alone
Dreaming that you’ll walk right through my door
It’s there I know my heart is whole
There's a millions reasons why I cry
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes
Cause I don’t wanna be alone
Cause I can't fake and I can't hate but it's my heart that’s about to break
You’re all I need I’m on my knees watch me bleed won't you listen please,
I give in I breathe out I want you there’s no doubt I freak out
I’m left out without you I’m without I cross out I can't doubt
I cry out I reach out
Don’t walk away...
(Undiscovered - Ashlee Simpson)
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